Well-being, happiness, fulfillment, meaning and purpose are found in the small moments that create the significance of living. In this excerpt from the Rituals of Champions class we discuss the Mindful Living – how to live mindfully every day.
Aviv Shahar :: Nov.14.2010 :: My Zen, Podcasts, Reflections :: No Comments »
The email below came this morning from the Davis Waldorf School Administrator, Kelly Brewer. It brought home three lessons:
Lesson One: never underestimate the power of a small dedicated group of people to turn the seemingly impossible into actuality.
Lesson Two: you never know what the impact of your work today may make possible in a year.
Lesson Three: transformational breakthrough is always nearby, inside. First one person makes the leap of belief and confidence, then the second and then others make the leap together.
*******
Hello Aviv,
Last night we celebrated the building expansion of the Davis Waldorf School. A year ago at our annual Board/Faculty retreat, you helped us envision our needs. I wanted you to know that we realized them in under a year.
Our 25 year old school was in desperate need of additional classroom, office and gathering space. When we came into the weekend, it was not even a dream that we could have what we truly needed.
After our insightful work together looking at where we came from and our strengths and opportunities for growth, it became obvious that expansion was necessary. You asked me to sit in the middle of the group and make it happen. I didn’t think that I knew how to do that, but with your guidance I was able to inspire the group to take that most important first step.
Our work together truly transformed our campus and school. It now feels like we are a stable and mature school poised for the next level of our growth and development. Our 200+ children and families are benefiting daily from the work we did together on that August weekend just one year ago.
As the building ceremony was winding down, I realized that you were not thanked properly. Please allow me this opportunity to deliver a deep and heartfelt thank you for helping us reach our dreams.
Kelly Brewer
Administrator
Davis Waldorf School
Aviv Shahar :: Sep.19.2010 :: Reflections :: No Comments »
Utopian Views of enlightenment envisioned an empowered and knowledge-proliferated society that would become problem free. It turned out that the opposite is the case. Whether our post modern society is enlightened or not is arguable but what is clear is that a whole new set of difficult and complex problems have emerged. Problems that quickly mutate and then go viral.
In a globalized inter-dependent and interconnected world, problems are not resolved – they multiply and morph into greater complexity. Like a virus that shape-shifts its form and strategy by the time vaccination is produced – even if the epicenter of its appearance finds a solution and recovery procedures are put into place the resolution strategy must continue to evolve with the changing dynamics.
This is the butterfly ricochet syndrome where every movement reverberates in everything else and every fractal cell is not merely a holographic reflection of the whole but a potential point of issuance and change that can trigger a chain-reaction that transforms the whole. Hence the idea that in an enlightened complex system, progress is measured not by the elimination of problems but by changing the nature of the problems in which you engage.
What is the leadership imperative in this? What competency is needed to handle the behavioral and social ricochet syndrome? There is a shift of focus. Problem solving is no longer sufficient. Leaders are called to be transformational, to help us transform ourselves as we engage in evolving solutions. The strategy imperative is to embrace the unknown and the uncertainties it brings.
Long periods of equilibrium interspersed with short intervals of change are no longer the norm. This has been replaced by “the new normal”: intense volatility and transformation with rare and short periods of equilibrium.
“What’s the good news?”
The “new normal” creates opportunities for transformational leaders and agents. It forces us to constantly develop, learn and be adaptive. Enlightenment is not a “point of arrival” theater. It is a dynamic process of change and evolution. It is the answer to the prayer: “may you live in interesting times.” Enjoy!
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv Shahar :: Dec.17.2009 :: Evolution, Reflections :: No Comments »
Reflections for Rosh Hashanah:
Have you lost your capacity for reverence?
Remember the feeling you experienced when your child stood on her/his own for the first time and then took their first steps?
Better still, remember how you stood up for the first time? Remember the first time you noticed a butterfly, the tree outside, the rain? Remember how special your secret place was? How meaningful everything around you was? Can you remember the sense of vitality and how each and every day was unique and full of texture? Do you remember how meaningful your first time away from home was for you? The first kiss, the first love, the first time driving on your own, your first solo flight…
Reverence was your daily bread. The world was filled with questions, wonder and great mystery. We now live through times of great uncertainties and a great many questions. My question to you is – have you lost your capacity for reverence? Is the uncertain and the unknown a burden and a stress or can you rediscover the spirit of curiosity, of reverence? Can you embrace living with new excitement in the face of the unknown?
Reverence is the medicinal remedy for a sense of shortfall.
If you tell me you failed, my question will be can you access your capacity for reverence?
If you tell me you are frustrated or you are afraid, my question will be can you get in touch with your capacity for reverence?
What else can survive cruelty, defuse hatred, alleviate pain and redeem stupidity? It’s your capacity for reverence.
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv Shahar :: Sep.17.2009 :: Personal Growth, Reflections :: No Comments »
Yes, I know. The Dalai Lama follows 34,439 other people on Twitter or he did the last time I checked. I doubt the Dalai Lama really follows so many tweets. I think he would have to sacrifice his meditation time and other commitments. Still, it occurred to me that something important is going on here.
What is the Twitter phenomenon? Is it the ultimate form of democratization of discourse, where everyone, from the president to the janitor, can converse with everyone else (providing it is done in 140 characters)? What does it tell us beyond the fact that we all crave attention so much that we scream out into the void?
It tells me that:
1. We want to feel connected. To belong to something bigger.
2. We seek to be in conversation with people we admire, and with strangers. Directly, not through intermediaries.
3. We aspire to plug into some greater invisible power, communicate with it and tap the greater collective unconscious.
The unconscious intelligence that sits inside the collective space itself desires to move into the light of consciousness. Still, there is a bigger point in the idea that the Dalai Lama follows me on Twitter (even if it is not him in person, but only one of his assistants).
Here is that point: if you knew that the Dalai Lama (or someone that you consider a spiritual authority) reads every thought that goes through your mind, would your thoughts be influenced? If you knew that your thoughts as you think them are appearing somewhere on a google screen in the heavens, would that change your thoughts?
If you knew that all your mental tweets are recorded and stored in this heavenly google and that you will ultimately re-live this script when your time comes to leave this Earth – would you think differently? Would you be more compassionate, more forgiving, more loving?
Hey, if you knew your thoughts partly shape the heavens, and the here and now, by the quality of your intent and the energetic value you generate – and that you were not just a dancer on the stage but also the choreographer – would that influence which thoughts you give credence to?
That’s what occurred to me when I got an email that the Dalai Lama follows me: You better pay attention to what you think, what you say and to the actions you take. Now that the Dalai Lama follows me on Twitter, you can follow me too here http://twitter.com/Avivshahar
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv Shahar :: Mar.29.2009 :: Reflections :: No Comments »
Moshe Domb was a special man. At 92 he was an emblem of the greatest generation—hard working, curious and honest—a man of integrity and honor.
Whenever we visited Sara’s family I enjoyed the banter with Moshe. He was stubborn. A man of principles. He fought and got wounded twice when serving in the Jewish Brigade of the Russian Army during the Second World War. He came to Israel and helped build a beautiful Kibbutz and a beautiful country.
His passing yesterday was a glorious lesson for everyone close to him. Eight years ago in one of our endearing conversations, I said: “Moshe, when you die you will get the shock of your life because you will discover that it is not the end, that there is continuance in another form; that in fact life here was a training ground for what you need to do next.” His response was typical. “Nonsense” he said. Now of course he knows I was right.
Four days before his passing, when he stopped eating, he said to one of his daughters, “tell everyone I am dying with joy, rejoicing the life I lived. I have had a good life.” There was a glistening light around him. Twelve hours before his passing he said: “either I am not clever enough or the bureaucrats in heaven are worse than the bureaucrats here. They refuse to let me in before I finish all sorts of idiotic questions and forms which I do not understand.”
Moshe said he was going to go up there and raise hell about why they allow things to be so messed up down here. I am sure he is getting his answer now. Those on the other side are bound by the rule of not interfering with our decisions on this side. They are always ready to help in what we try to do but leave us free to make our own choices. And Moshe was a man who made powerful choices and then lived by them.
Now he rejoices on the other side, having taught us all about a glorious passing.
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv Shahar :: Feb.25.2009 :: Reflections :: No Comments »
Here is a story I heard today from my sister in law about her grandson:
Four years old: mother, I love you like the whole world.
Mother: I love you like all the stars.
Four years old: But mother, if we start competing in love, love will run away…
And I thought wisdom was something you gathered through life and experience…
Aviv Shahar :: Jan.27.2009 :: Reflections :: No Comments »
Limbo: (Clause 4) an intermediate place or state; a state of uncertainty
Let’s see, what is in limbo right now…?
For a start, the global financial system is in limbo. The economy and many corporations feel they are in limbo. If you lost your job and are looking for new one, you are in limbo. The stock market is in limbo – in between two trends. The Middle East is in limbo. The Obama administration is still in limbo for a few more days. Even NASA is in limbo. India – Pakistan seems to be in limbo. Large parts of Africa are in limbo. You get the idea… This planet is largely in limbo.
The question is – are you in limbo? Chances are that if you are not, you will likely be by tomorrow, at least in one aspect of your life or another. In between jobs. In between homes. In between relationships. In between one clarity and the next. Between one peak and the next.
You have to become very good at managing the limbo state. Limbo is the point where you are no longer in the safety of what was known and have not found yet a new settlement or equilibrium. It might just be the nature of life in the foreseeable future. Perhaps this was life all along but you hadn’t noticed. The point is, you’ve got to develop an indestructible core that sustains you through the limbo state. A sense of clarity about who you are and what’s important for you. A confidence and self esteem not subject to the marketplace of employability. Resourcefulness. Resilience. Gumption. Chutzpa. Tons of optimism. And a good and wide network of friends. Learn to become the answer to the questions around you. You will then never be alone. You will never be left without work. And you will not lose the sense of self in the state of limbo.
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv Shahar :: Jan.15.2009 :: Reflections :: 1 Comment »
Here is my reply to David Brooks “Lost In The Crowd” commentary on Gladwell’s “Outliers.”
Your results and success is an output of unique multiplication combination of the following elements:
Elements largely “not in your control”:
1. Your gene pool
2. Your family and upbringing
3. Your social environment
4. Important figures / influencers in early life (teacher, neighbors, relatives)
5. Pivotal events that left indelible impressions
6. Political and economical circumstances
7. Situational serendipity
Elements largely “in your control”:
8. How you use your time
9. How you direct your energy and apply your talent
10. What peak experiences you create to guide your efforts
11. The character you fashion through your choices and work
12. Your intentions, focus and concentration
13. Your self-insight
14. Key relationships you cultivate
Each one of us is a unique logarithmic configuration of the elements above (plus other elements we left out) with varying degrees of influence of controlled and less controlled elements. Personal growth and development experts focus on the elements you can control. Academia and policy experts seek solutions in what shapes your opportunity which you have no control over. We need both to fashion integral optimal approach.
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv Shahar :: Dec.23.2008 :: Reflections :: No Comments »
Chris was a good engineer. He was one of a dozen engineers on his team to answer service calls. Methodical and thorough, Chris was well respected by his team members. Still, he was not the star type. Quiet, a little shy, never seeking center stage, Chris’s focus was on the task at hand. One day his team took ownership of a new service contract. JD was the chief contact on the client end. Within a couple of weeks it became clear that JD was a demanding and extremely high maintenance client. Every Tuesday or Wednesday with no exception, the phone would ring and JD would be on the line, sometimes even twice a week. If that was not enough, JD did not make his calls easy on the team. He was impatient, angry and thankless. The team felt that his calls were abusive and obnoxious. JD was “burning” one engineer after another. Within a few weeks, there was absolutely no one prepared to take his calls. People learned to recognize his voice and when they heard it, he was immediately transferred to Chris. Chris was the only person on the team who was ready and willing to service JD’s calls. He would patiently reply, talk JD through the technical issues and resolve every problem presented. Chris never seemed to get offended or upset with JD’s demeanor. He serenely and compassionately solved the problem and moved on. It quickly became a legend that Chris was somehow able to handle the most difficult client the company had, and that slowly, gradually, JD began to change. Not that he was pleasant but he seemed to respect and like Chris, even when he remained difficult for anyone else to handle. One day someone asked: how can you be so understanding and patient with such an abusive client? Chris replied: Every time I take the call I remind myself that I have to deal with this man for twenty or thirty minutes, but he has to deal with himself all day long, seven days a week. This thought immediately fills me with compassion.
This week, when someone annoys you and you are about to lose your temper, think about Chris. Realize that most often frustration and anger is an expression of people’s own pain and struggle, which they are unable to contain or rebalance. Remember, they are not against you; they simply struggle to live with themselves. Have compassion for them. Remember they have to live with themselves all the time. If they behave this way with you, it must be very difficult for them to live with themselves. Be thankful you live with you. Understand that at times you have to deal with people in great pain, and you cannot always help, but you can have compassion for them. Live and let live.
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv Shahar :: Dec.13.2008 :: Reflections, Relationship :: No Comments »
