Why do so many relationships hit a brick wall?
Too many people insist on holding onto frozen dreams instead of realizing that a relationship is a learning journey. You work at it. You work at it hard and you work at it soft and you make discovery, learning and growing central to your relationship. You listen to each other and you listen to yourself. You learn to not “should” all over each other. You make space, you encourage and you try to take the higher roads. You live and let live and you then discover that it makes every year a bit better because you are able to take in more about life, more about each other and more about growing together.
The biggest mistake people make is to turn around at age 45 or 55 and say we don’t love each other the way we did at 25, it doesn’t feel the same. Well, of course not. What both of you were at 25 is frozen in time. You are now 45 or 55 – who says it’s supposed to feel the same? You are different; your partner is different. You have experience, wisdom, perspective and you have managed to overcome adversity. You are more set in some of your ways and at the same time you can grow and evolve in other ways. If you listen to each other’s growth and pay attention to your own—love at 45 and 55 is deeper, more interesting and fascinating and 100 times better than it was at 25, and it helps both of you to continue to evolve.
Have you noticed the two thirds of EVOLVE is love? Does that not tell us that love is the inner propulsion of growth, development and evolution?
© Aviv Shahar