(My mother wrote to me that this blog is becoming too sophisticated that it’s a struggle for her to read it. My guess is that she meant she cannot feel me or my thought process in what she reads here. Mother, this post is for you!)

We are back in Real de Chapala near Guadalajara, Mexico to teach the Keys2Greatness seminar. Coming here from Seattle in February is like coming out of a dark room or a cave into the light. I love the February sun in this part of Mexico. It’s soft, warm and caressing. I begin to thaw. The speed is different here. It’s slower. People don’t seem to be worried about what the stock market will do tomorrow or the Super Tuesday’s winners.

I like to arrive a day before each seminar begins. It gives me a chance to breathe in the nature of the place and its energy and to calibrate my speed. Relaxing in the sun is so very peaceful. I look out on the lake. Last summer when we were here for a leadership program the lake was out from shore about 200 meters or 600 feet. The water level had been down for a number of years and the local talk at that time was all about an imminent ecological disaster and how it might impact the area. Today the lake is back. The water comes right to the edge of the resort’s soccer field. Seeing the return of the lake causes me to reflect on the nature of human perception and awareness.

We live in times where “today” or this week is all the mind can hold and there’s a good reason for that. The intensity of impressions, the non-stop news cycle and the dynamic shape-shifting situations of life don’t allow us to process much more than this very moment. It’s curious. The Western mind has come full circle only to find itself right smack in the middle of the Buddhist idea and teaching that NOW is all that there is; that yesterday or tomorrow are only an illusion of the mind. All you really have is this moment; and when the future is actualized it becomes the present. The Western mind is not pressed into this through emptiness or meditative clearing of itself from any thought. Rather it is forced into it as a result of the over fullness or having too much to handle. Being in the now, in this very minute then becomes not some New Age idea but the only personal management strategy that works. Worrying about the past or having anxiety about the future tires your mind, weakens your immune system and robs your energy.

Yesterday is no more, it’s gone. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Tomorrow may or may not come for you. It will be here with you or without you. So all you really have is today. The future is the moment by moment discovery of what happens now and then in the next now.

What all this has to do with the lake? Well, the lake is back. It doesn’t worry about its yesterday or its tomorrow. It is being and doing what it is and does today. For the lake there is no yesterday or tomorrow. Time is a continuum and the lake lives in the moment, inside that continuum.

Can you be fully present in the conversation you are engaged in? Can you live in the moment inside the continuum of your life and its unfolding story?

© Aviv Shahar

Aviv Shahar :: Feb.07.2008 :: Reflections, View :: No Comments »

These are snapshots of Mount Rainier as my plane was taking off from SeaTac airport. I usually prefer to sit by the aisle but on the flight to Houston last week I sat in the left window seat and took my digital camera.

Mount Rainier makes me wonder about latent power…

Power that has not been applied and is being contained has a greater impact than power that has been released. The energy potential is greater before usage. Think about the big guy who does not need to use his power and can be gentle, because his presence alone is a reassurance of threat.

Look around and see that when individuals, groups or nations are forced to use their power they are weakened. The energy potential is diminished. How about this as a mindset when going out into the world? How about appreciating that the power you contain is greater than the power you use? Imagine relationships where people appreciate each other’s presence and power and have no need to apply and use it

That is what Mount Rainier is like. It contains its power. It would be a much weaker mountain if it exploded.

© Aviv Shahar

Aviv Shahar :: Jan.24.2008 :: Reflections :: No Comments »

I was sitting at the best table in the restaurant on the 39th floor. Something special had happened at this week’s seminar and I decided to relax and celebrate the free evening before getting back home in the morning. For five days we had worked hard with a group of 12 executives. They all have had a great experience in this seminar. Each executive had identified their strengths, gained new perspectives and worked on aligning short and long term goals. Each of them articulated their core values and purpose and envisioned the roadmap ahead. Each person had their breakthrough moment, which made the week’s work a profound experience. Now the seminar was over and it was my time to treat myself. I decided to enjoy a special dinner and reserved the nicest table available with a view of the city. The sunsets in San Francisco can be very beautiful and this one matched my contemplative mood. David presented himself as I settled at my table: “I’ll be your waiter tonight, what can I get you started with?” He was bright and there was a happy melodic tone in his voice. I replied: “It’s a special evening, how about your favorite glass of red wine?”

Soon he was back with the wine. We selected the finest dish on the menu and started talking. He asked about the occasion and I explained about the nature of the work we had just completed. It feels good to know you have done your best. It feels great to know that your best has made a difference; that the work was impactful for people’s lives and that for a few days we were able to take a broader strategic view. These tough 24/7 pedal-to-the-metal executives allowed themselves to enter a conversation about purpose. We were able to push back pressures and find the sweet spot, where the personal and the professional are not in contradiction, where the various roles we enact are expressions of a central principle in our lives. The beauty of this process is when people discover it for themselves. Then you know something profound had happened.

It turned out David was a bit of a philosopher or at least he had done a lot of thinking about many things. As the evening progressed he would stop by and our conversation would evolve to the next topic. I watched him work his tables. He had a spring in his walk as he approached each table with great sensitivity and attunement.
“David”, I asked, as he brought the desert menu, “why are you working here? You clearly have a lot going on in you. What is your real passion?” David smiled and said. “I am a poet. In the morning I get up and write poems. That is where my passion is but it doesn’t pay the bills. So I figured I needed to have a money-making job to support what I love to do. Working here during the evening shift is a great way to pay the bills. I meet interesting people and I try to make them feel special. It’s a bit like writing a poem. Some nights I get to meet families on their special happy occasions; other nights I see a successful businessman who has everything and is sad and lonely. I try to fit my style and approach to rhyme with the person at the table I serve. Every person deserves to have a good dinner. Plus, it stimulates my creativity and gives me ideas for my poems.”

He was back with a rich chocolate cake. Looking at the bill it came to $68. Not bad for treating myself I thought. But there was one thing I felt would make it even better. I doubled it and left $136 on the table and wrote a little card for David. “This is for your poems. Keep up the good work. Blessings…”

© Aviv Shahar

Aviv Shahar :: Dec.24.2007 :: Conversations That Matter, Reflections :: No Comments »

Questions: What do Priests and Firefighters have in common?
Answer: They both deal in matters of higher intervention, and they both rush in where angels fear to tread.  Priests try to light a fire in the house and firefighters try to put it out. Well, perhaps.
The right answer though is that they both made the top of TIME’s list of the happiest people by occupation.
You could say they are both in the business of saving people’s lives. Their job is connected to a mission and perhaps therein lies a clue to their happiness.
The top happiest occupations of firefighters and priests were followed by these jobs: Reservation and Ticket Agents and Architects. These professions don’t deal in higher intervention but they facilitate people’s dreams and aspirations.

Humor aside, we are not surprised by the conclusion of the TIME’s survey that says: “For the most part Happiness isn’t about money… …Nobody has put a price on happiness yet.” We said so ourselves in the KEY: “Happiness Matters.”
Isn’t it time, the TIME’s started reading the KEY…

© Aviv Shahar

Aviv Shahar :: Nov.20.2007 :: Happiness, Reflections :: No Comments »

This post was triggered after reading the Cool Friend interview with Matthew Kelly on Tom Peters! I found Kelly’s reply to the question of why people stop dreaming incomplete and posted a comment. Upon further reflection I found my own comment also incomplete and added the following:

“A person without a dream is like a bird without wings”.
“Take a man away from his dreams and he begins to die slowly”.

It is natural to envision new development and possibilities, to dream of new attainment and capabilities. We are wired to dream of what can be. To wake up in the morning without a dream, a purpose to endeavor toward is to abdicate the charge of living.

Why do people stop dreaming?

People stop dreaming because…

1. They are afraid of the disappointment of not reaching their dreams.
2. They achieved one dream and have not found a way to rejuvenate into the next new dream.
3. Working towards a dream earlier in their life took a heavy toll. Now they are hurt and disillusioned.
4. Material dreams they did achieve left them feeling empty on the inside and they have yet to see the need for a new sustaining dream which might make their life feel more significant.
5. They have been ridiculed and criticized and have internalized the idea that they can’t achieve.
6. They are afraid of the power of having a dream and the responsibility it brings.
7. They have internalized the idea that growing up means to stop dreaming.
8. They don’t believe they are worthy of their dream.
9. They are missing that one person who will believe in them and give them the power to believe in themselves.
10. They don’t believe their own lives are significant enough, important enough to work towards a dream.

Then there is more. The journey to realizing a dream is not a linear process. As you progress you need to let go and transcend the mindset you had when you started the journey. And then once you realize your dream you may need to give up control as it gains its own life. Most people are afraid to not be in control even for a short period of time. Dreams require trust and faith.

Whatever the case is, let’s do away with excuses. Daring to dream is for the mind what breathing is for the lungs. Here is a question: what is your dream? Yes, I mean this for real – what is your dream?
Here is another way to rekindle this. What would you start dreaming today if you knew you couldn’t fail?

One more dream: who will you help to find their dream today?

© Aviv Shahar

Aviv Shahar :: Nov.12.2007 :: Reflections, Spirituality :: No Comments »

A central theme in the American experiment was striving for liberty and freedom. A vital component of this was the departure from the Monarchy and the Aristocratic society in favor of a Meritocracy. The deeper dimension of this new aspiration was the promise of discovering the royal aspect of human life inside each person’s pursuit of higher expression and opportunity. This journey was in large part abandoned or left incomplete, and the societal vacuum created by doing away with aristocracy was filled with “Celebritocracy”.

Too many people give up living their lives and celebrating its meaning and significance. Instead they obsess over the soap opera dramas of celebrity madness, which is fed by media frenzy. Why are we surrounded by a culture of celebrity obsession and voyeurism? What is this insatiable hysteria? Why do people feel so distanced from themselves that they substitute focusing on what they want to change in their own life with a voyeuristic attachment to the quasi details of the lives of celebrities?

There are many explanations and theories but underneath it all there is an epidemic of loneliness, insecurity and confusion. Yes, I know, celebrity is what sells. Celebrity romances, breakups, scandals and sex intrigues get ratings. Especially when it is supported by a bi-polar swing from the Emmy awards to what Hollywood actress lost her custody battle this week. Is this really what society is about?

There is a great fear in many people of discovering that they might be empty on the inside, that there is no core certainty and strength. The fear is that perhaps who they are - is not who they want to be, and the celebrity craziness provides the needed distraction of thinking about someone else. If our talk around the water cooler is about the latest star gossip than it isn’t about our own discoveries or insights and therefore involves no risk and also no gain.

The social experiment of doing away with royalty and aristocracy in favor of meritocracy is only half done. The next leg up toward the maturation of the societal organism is to liberate itself from the need for a culture of idol worship. This doesn’t appear to be an exclusively American obsession but rather a growing global desire to passively ‘live’ through those who appear larger than life on the big screen and on the internet. Society’s next developmental threshold is to transcend the mental and emotional age of 12-14, when perhaps the stage of hero worship was an open ended exploration of the options and opportunities that were ahead of us. The next cultural evolution is to help people take their lives back, to discover the royal nature of human life in the qualities of courage, beauty, honor, goodness and stewardship and to embark on their own exploration into what it means to be alive and participating in the greatest adventure of all, their own story.

© Aviv Shahar

Aviv Shahar :: Oct.22.2007 :: America, Reflections :: No Comments »

In our recent Toronto trip to teach the Blue Belt Top Talent program for Hewlett Packard Canada we made the journey to Niagara Falls. It was a beautiful day. As we walked in a crowd of tourists, I counted 23 languages and dialects from Japanese to German, from Arabic to Russian, from Hebrew to Dutch and more. Everyone was polite, peaceful and happy. No conflict, no war. Nature does bring us together beyond our differences. It reminds us of what was before us and what will be after us. It brings forward humility and awe and forwards the image of our greater selves.

Aviv Shahar :: Oct.10.2007 :: Reflections, View :: No Comments »

My wife, Sara shared with me the following story she heard from H, a friend who returned from India where she visited a village she had first stayed in 30 years ago: “I went to India to see how things had changed in the village I visited in the 70s. Back then I went with a volunteer organization to help an undeveloped village. Our mission was to plant trees in a large area of dry land near the school. It was an uncultivated area with no water access and we doubted the trees would survive. The head of the project in the village was determined to bring about an ecological change in the area. He found a radical way to nurture the trees. In the village lived a handicapped woman who was disliked by all. She talked all the time. When people walked by her she would always speak to them and make annoying remarks. It was her way of grabbing the attention that no one wanted to give to her. She was known as the annoyance of the village. When people saw her walking toward them, they moved to the other side of the road hoping to avoid her and not suffer through her endless remarks. The man who headed the planting project decided to give this woman a job. He hired her to water the trees. He told her that as she watered the trees every day she must talk to them because it would help them grow. “The trees,” he explained, “love that you talk to them, more than anything else. Talking to the trees when you water them will help the trees to grow faster and larger.” And that was what she did.

Now, 30 years later when H visited the village she found the trees had indeed grown exceptionally well, more than the other trees in the area. The eco-system had changed and the feeling in the village was very different. It had become a green place with many shaded areas. H found the handicapped woman was still looking after the trees, watering and talking to them every day. The village went through a number of economical cycles with some up and down times. Many people lost their jobs and were often out of work. But the woman who watered the trees was never out of work. She had talked to the trees and watered them every day for 30 years.”

Here are the three morals I found in the story:

First, what seems useless one day may become useful or even critically needed the next day.

Second, when you do what you love to do as your work – you will never be out of a job.

And the third moral is that the very thing or person that is disliked by all may carry the kiss of life for many.

© Aviv Shahar

Aviv Shahar :: Oct.10.2007 :: Reflections :: No Comments »